Sunday, 29 December 2013

One Word 365: Bloom

Coming to the end of a year is a little like turning the page of time..it's something that we need to do to mark out the passing of our lives. As more & more time goes by, this process seems to become increasingly important to many of us, especially now that my years are no longer measured by such things as a child weaning, losing baby teeth, starting school or leaving home. Do you do that: calculate the years by a childhood event or marker? I always remember how long ago we moved back here to Hawke's Bay by how old David is plus 6 months! It was a time of huge change for us as a family, a time of excitement, new opportunities & great uncertainty. Our intention was to build a new life closer to family; a life of love & blessing. Tragically, quite the opposite occurred, the years became harder & more grueling & as each year ended I would once again gather all my courage & faith & determine that surely next year would be a better one.
Unable to cope with the incessant round of family drama, breakdown, ugly politics & abandonment (on both sides), with a husband who was a nursing student & three small children to care for, my health soon collapsed & broke. Chaos prevailed through all those years, yet somehow, we held on to our love & our home & our lives. Every time we made a step forward, soon enough, something dreadful would happen & we would slide back down the snake to the bottom, bruised, crushed & wounded. (Even the Church we attended completely broke down & disintegrated!) It was out of this desperate, endless struggle that I was to become an ardent seeker of both truth & beauty.
People often thought me too intense or even self righteous but when you are living without hope you become dedicated to finding a way through the morass, whatever it takes, for fear of never seeing the light again. Over time I discovered that I have a sensitivity, insight & intuition that others don't understand, but is in fact, a truly precious gift.
When my friend Cheryl gave me a card year's end of 2009 "An angel in My Garden" a tiny fertile seed of hope was sown, that would in turn, lead me in to blogging & the community of caring, inspiring, friendly bloggers. It was at the moment that life began to finally change for me. Sunlight began to stream through my window from time to time. Two years ago, on the cusp of menopause, my health failed very badly once again, but this time the resources were there to be mined, discovered, revealed. Slowly, slowly beauty, truth & kindness, a very good homeopath, New Zealand Flower Essences, cultured & healing foods, a faithful husband willing to change & grow, have all carried us to a place, where we can truly say, that for the first time in 25 years we have had a good year!
A gentle miracle.
So here we are, once again, year ending.
We stand with grace & gratitude...& intention.
And, my intention: to bloom in 2014.

Bloom:
~ the flower of a plant.~flowers collectively: the bloom of the cherry tree.
~state of having the buds opened: The gardens are all in bloom.
~flourishing, healthy condition; the time or period of greatest beauty, artistry, etc.: the bloom of youth; the bloom of Romanticism.~glow or flush on the cheek indicative of youth and health: a serious illness that destroyed her bloom.


Synonyms: blossom, florescence, floruit, flower, flush, heyday, high noon, prime, salad days, springtime.
This concept of One Word has surfaced in various places, of recent times, but I really like Alece's invitation over at One Word 365. She says:
"Your word can be anything you want. All that matters is that it has personal meaning for you. It can be something tangible or intangible. It can be a thought, a feeling, an action, a character trait. Your word will stand as a reminder, a nudge. Something you can reflect on, that will challenge you, inspire you. A touchstone you can return to time and time again to help you stay the course this year…"

You can pop in here to read more if you're interested.  You'll find a button to a list of inspiring words at the bottom of that page or you can go here to find a fabulous 365 list of words to use as journal prompts. They'll be just great for intentions too! 
If you're looking for me I'll be with the pond fairies just now..
For me to bloom through this coming year will be a challenge that I will face as every day unfolds; as I continue to live & sleep with depression. It is an enormous task to attempt to process & shed the grief & loss of nearly 50 years of breaking down...losing "family" (& family members) over & over again; the loss of wellbeing & belonging is a stinging & harsh grief that follows me wherever I go.
However, my intention, the word that will also be my companion through the days of 2014 is
BLOOM 
Thank you dears for being the ones that brought hope to my door.
Thank you for your visits & friendship, for being participators of grace & for endlessly inspiration & kindness.
I am so grateful!
I wish you all a wonderful, satisfying & adventurous New Year (almost there!)


♥♥♥♥♥

9 comments:

  1. Hello Catherine, I think "bloom" is just a perfectly perfect word for you. I was thinking of one for myself & thought perhaps, create ??? I looked at the link you sent - what a fantastic idea. Much better than all these resolutions that I usually break within the first 2 weeks or so. I hope the coming year brings only good things to you & Rob both. Thinking back on 2013, then surely a highlight must be Lucy coming into your lives?? She has been a highlight in mine as I live my life through your blog posts about her !!! :-) Sending much love & friendship your way my friend, x0x0x0

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  2. Catherine you sure have brought many blooms to my life. You're my favorite new blog from this year & I hope a new friend. There is too much beauty in the world to let the hard things of life blot them out. I'm so glad you've fought through & have chosen to share the beauty around you with us. I look forward to another year of seeing it through your eyes!

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  3. Bloom, what a good word to have at the forefront of your mind as you travel into 2014. I'm sure it will be a very good year for you.
    Anne xx

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  4. Dear Catherine, what a beautiful post - to think I have 'known' you pretty much since when this blog started is amazing - I didn't realise just quite how long it had been. We share similar battles I think and you have certainly helped me with your beautiful posts.

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  5. Depression means you live your life in shades of grey , its the little lights in that grey that are the big things in your life. The sparkle in a childs eyes, that perfect bloom , that stray compliment . you have created a place of beauty thats lights my moods ..Thankyou

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  6. Gosh you strike a chord with so many Katy. The empowerment of kindred spirits is one of life's little nice surprises. Lucy is among them. You have found your niche in the universe I think. You certainly give me a lift!

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  7. Dear Catherine, I was in tears as I read the beginning of your post but by the end, my heart was smiling. I wish you the very best of everything for the coming year and all the years after. Your beautiful posts always lift me when I’m down, thank you. Barbara xx

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  8. "Bloom" is a perfect word for you, Catherine. I am so glad that I discovered your blog. I really enjoy the pictures of your beautiful gardens, and of course, your sweet caravan :). Happy New Year from Nova Scotia. May 2014 be your best year yet!

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  9. Hi Catherine, we share the same One Word 365, and also the same name, although I shorten mine to Cath :)
    I have blogged about my word here: http://weavingsoflife.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/one-word-365-a-changed-life/ I hope you will call by and take a look.
    Many blessings to you in 2014, and I hope we can become friends.
    Autumn (Cath) xx

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So lovely of you to leave a comment. Thank you!! ♥

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