The Treasure of Hygge

Being a human being doesn't feel very marvellous for many of us, much of the time. There are so many who carry sadness, trauma, grief, pain; who wrestle with depression, suicidality or even just misfitment- we've been abandoned, cast aside or we just don't belong where we got deposited in to life...& it hurts. Perhaps for no apparent reason at all, there are those who just haven't figured out who they're meant to be- a disconnection from true self occurs and there's just no spark or colour. As a by-product of such states- addictions, ocds and personality, eating and social disorders can arise. In the past we've locked such people in asylums- away from the "normal" world, casting them off as worthless to society or branding them unsolvable.

Of recent times, new theories have suggested that the remedy for the spectrum of addiction is simply- connection. Simplistically, that's not a bad concept- after all, the higher self hook-up (a primal form of connection) has been the basis for the AA programme from it's inception. But...we've come to discover, through our long healing journey, that there's a whole realm of something quite else- something so deep and wide and profoundly restorative that it way surpasses mere connection and truly begins to resolve the melancholy many of us experience. The essence of this something else is called Hygge. Hygge has been popularised through social media and the internet over recent years and it's certainly a very happy concept and lovely of Norway and Denmark to let the rest of world in on their secret, but here in New Zealand some of the Hygge characteristics just don't quite fit our climate or our style. If you look up "what is Hygge?" you'll find it described as "cosiness" most of all, along with lots of nice lists about woolie jumpers, hot chocolate, blazing fires and socks. More recently there's been a leaning towards the inclusion of decluttering and even a touch of minimalism. 

(Of course you don't have to be bruised or squashed to live a Hygge life you can just be a perfectly regular human being!)

Then one day we woke up and realised that our whole lives are Hygge (Hoo-gah) in the most wonderful and charming sense of the word and concept.

We began to realise that connection alone had healed very little for us, but as we began to settle in to the feel and space of the authentic people we have finally unearthed and become, we also began to find and live in the rhythms of of our kind of Hygge- and it is, in fact, Sunshine Vintage life.

Sunshine Vintage Hygge means coming to everyday life with the eyes of a child. 

And simply paying attention.

To see and notice the tiny blue forget-me-nots in spring and remember the sweetheart rose Cecile Brunner of my wedding bouquet- now nearly 40 years a memory.

In fact, Hygge is brimming over with nostalgia.

It means allowing ourselves to hold, value, create the tiny darling things that mean nothing to the consumeristic world, but speak to our tender hearts of peace, comfort, safety and innocence.

 It means rustic, homemade nourishing food so that even date slice (caramel square, cheese scones- doesn't matter what it is) is not just a "treat" but a happily included, heart- warming part of the day, the tea party, the picnic or the- "I think I'll make myself a cuppa & have a slice of that".

 Fruit juice made in to jellies and stored in jam jars in the fridge speak to our child hearts and make us feel nurtured and happy, yet truly nourish our guts too,

 The seasons and the gifts that pour forth from them, lift our spirits and amaze us with their faithful provision. Every October and November we keep our eyes peeled for elderflowers. The inhalation of the scent of an elderflower immediately reminds our ragged souls that life is good, help is at hand, and that just as before- all will be well.

 Queen Anne's Lace is a wild flower that is a special flowery friend to me and I am always so excited when I spot her unique little signature gift- the red heart at her centre "No reason", she says, "just because I love you".

 Blankets and rugs- vintage, hand knitted or crocheted, op-shopped, gifted or handed down they are one of our favourite Sunshine Vintage Hygge treasures. We have piles and piles of them- all in different shades and colours.

 They often have dear label stories like this Robinwul.

Even cemeteries can be quaint Hygeely places where peace is found and homemade elderflower champagne is welcome.

 There we may also find Heartsease, Johnny-Jump-Ups, Heart's Delight, Jack-Jump-Up-and-Kiss-Me.

 A good farmer's market is a Hyggery kind of place where we might find connection, good conversation and Granny's Secret lettuces.

 Light- all of it- sunrise, sunset, moon rise, "that certain kind of light" are all part of Hygge and how we see the world.

 Garden rooms, small spaces, garden furniture, quirky toadstools, bouquets of wildflowers, vintage tablecloths and more old blankets- just in case it gets chilly, also warm our little hearts.

 One of the artists that we loved the most out at the Wildflowers and Sculpture exhibition was Katie Whitcombe. Her work embodied a certain kind of Hygge. It was described in the brochure this way:
 "Katie's work encompasses the old and sometimes forgotten. Here she has worked on the tools of the trade- saws that cut down trees and help build homes, wheelbarrows that carried heavy loads, spades that helped dig holes for foundations or to plant life. These items now have a new purpose, to remind us of the history and the beauty that can still be held in forgotten objects."

 Fabulous, delicious, colour-full, beautifully crafted food from Hapi at the Farmer's Market made us feel special and it was delicious shared at Christmas.

 Picnics in the landscape where we find ourselves perennially warmly welcome...

 and we are offered gifts of food and medicine wherever we go.

Gloriously scented rugosa roses are just exquisite and dry beautifully too.

 Fragrance and over-the-topness is a quintessential part of a Hygge life.

 Bothering to be so intricate and well formed- just because that's what you're here for- to be a rosebud pelargonium is quite astonishing. Even better that they each have such lovely provenance.

 Touch- especially the hand of a grandchild- suspended in time as precious.

 Learn to sniff and savour like a child.

And delight in water- a sprinkler found for $2 that brings us squealing joy with it's rhythms as it waters the lawn. 

 And delight in hearts made for human joy.

 Shepherd's Purses whom most see as a weed, but can staunch bleeding and save a life.

Cats know how to do Hygge perfectly- you just make yourself right at home, even in someone else's house.

 The warmth of Hygge can envelope us at any moment- it's often wrapped in beauty.

 Be-bothered to make butter curls for a picnic in the park, is a Hyggery thing to do.

 Especially when that picnic is in the middle of a park garden, under the indulgent eye of the just emerging magnolias.

 Of course Hygge is also found in books, illustrations and beautiful art.

 There's something about the quirky, the unusual that offers itself as a joke but it delicious and makes us smile. Their grandiose name is Rampicante.

 That something can be repaired or mended is also comforting and offers the gift of reassurance.

 Wandering in the landscape we find ourselves continually welcome.

 And look there too is Hygge!

 The Hygge cafe at Clifton describe Hygge this way:
Hygge is a Danish term pronounced "Hue Guh".
It means the essence of what is good in this life.
WARMTH HAPPINESS ENJOYMENT COMFORT PEACE
Whether warmed by the fire or warmed by the heart.
~
The loving acceptance and enjoyment of the moment
alone or together, away or at home
ordinary or extraordinary
with family or friends.
~
We believe in creating a sense of comfort.
​ The place you are in, the people you are with, is important to us, so we aim to create you a sanctuary.
We believe in celebrating and appreciating the seasons and look to making space to warm the heart.
~
Our food is sourced ethically and as much as we possibly can, organically.
Our decor is chosen with the feeling of home in mind and we hope it sparks joy with you.
~
Immerse yourself in the gift of the moment.

 Hygge is slow, nourishing comfort food

 like roasted fig icecreeam

And a walk in the woods in early spring to gather wild violets

to make into this glorious violet honey syrup that heals a sore throat so beautifully and tastes amazing and is kept in the freezer!

Hygge is peering in the window of home and knowing that the lights are on just for you.

 For as Brigitt Anna O'Neill urges us:

"....Find the emptiness inside and fill it with love, rest, plans, inspiration and adventure.
Fill it with life!"

Go!...

I Can Sing A Rainbow...Too.

I should know by now that stories can only be told when they're ready...

otherwise they turn out all wrong.

But it's time now, to go on with the tale...

~Kelly Rae Roberts~

I have my special hat on today my:

 "Explorer of Truth & Beauty" hat.

Just as I was exploring the world of our Special Senses & how they are so remarkable,

such things as: the touch of butterfly feet on fingertips,

& the lick of a soft & friendly dog,

the arresting sight of verdant colour on the hills over "there",

the amusement of watching the silly antics of Whistle...our other borrowed cat who crosses the road to find us every day & play in our garden,

standing in awe at the feet of this ensemble down at Aunty's Garden & thinking "how very clever", how very clever indeed!

& the taste of passionfruit, a flavour like no other...& how they come in the most amazing packages; that wrinkle!

Discovering & picking a tiny wee sweetheart rose & then noticing the little angel wings & the fine hairs on the petals,

finger-staining elderberries made of magic,

inhaling the scent of exquisitely white naked ladies, gifted by a true friend.

Marveling at the miracle of a thousand hollyhock seeds...
how do they know to grow in to another hollyhock just the same?

Dappled light on a perfect, pastel, vintage blanket find...

colours that activate passion & make me want to make Mexican food or eat juicy mangos
...juice dripping,

Yes, there's a "Little Chaos" that comes with these Special Precious Senses.

& comfort to be able to go to Lucy when life gets hard.

When a son (dear to your heart) returns home, a little broken, depressed, stressed, unable to sleep & function & not wanting this life, it's hard.

 All my work to calm my own heart & world, & foster thrival for myself; overturned, wrenched. 

Lurch, back into: hyper-vigilance, overwhelm & sadness & re-living the struggles we've had as a family...just to do life, at all.

Day to day....that's all you can do.

I've learnt more this time through, about depression & suicide & what drives us to these places.

I've learnt that it's a lot more universal than I realised...the symptoms & the struggle of it all.

Damage...that's what happened.

Systemic, acidic harm that sprang from being un-nurtured by a narcissist. 

Confidence dissolved. All colours turn grey; life-lacking, depleted. Seeds of fear & self-disgust scattered carelessly, deliberately through the whole garden. 

Learning the world is a cold & hostile place where we do not deserve to find love or connection.

It's all a lie, of course...but it stains; deep.

The contamination cannot be soaked out, washed away...it seeps through the family soil & poisons the generations. The clean-up process is complex; hard, gritty.

Over this past month there have been so many nights...our minds in turmoil, bodies on fire, hormones cascading in to panic. Can't go to sleep; on guard. Can't wake up; what for?

Food...ooh no. Which one of us, all of us? Worry...is he ok; where is he it's 1.00am?

The patterns activated decades ago by another, should-have-been care-giver, not taker.

Through the years...dossiers assembled, boxes full: 

"All I have & hold against you" failed daughter, disgust, worthless.

 Only the narcissist is allowed emotions...just calm down Catherine!!" 

There is no discussion, explanation. No, not one single time. 

No reconciliation, let's put things right.

Never "I love you" or "you matter."

Decades go by just the same.
Five decades: long enough to make a different choice!!

Confidence fades with the colours of life, light goes out; drowning.

Where are the healers, the validators? Nowhere to be found.

The pollution fills up the sea, sight of land fades, can't breath.

Then, one day....I found a pretty hat. 

Seeker, author, explorer of beauty & truth it said.

I am.

I am a good daughter, a wonderful wife, a fine mother & a nice friend.

I don't deserve to be punished, not now, not ever.

Close the doors. It's over, even though the voices can still be heard. They never cease.

Nightmares still come, my body (the densest part of the soul) still speaks & aches & inflames.

Thank you for your messages...I am listening. A lifetime of stored emotions not allowed air.

Released, slowly, safely...recieved with compassion & kindness;

we also offer our son. Our brave, beautiful son.

Tender, strong, teaching himself Chinese. Hearing truth, telling his story; safe-supported, brave.

Working again, long hours but determined; eating again.

Little moments of humour & joy bubbling to our surface.

Soft cat fur, Mah Jong (found at the market), nice friends...two young men gabble together like girls! 

We breath deeper, visit the ocean.

Grateful for each other.

We know one another & ourselves a little better.
Trust grows & with it fresh hope.
Thank God for those who shine a light:

Kelly Rae Roberts: Be Brave Manifesto

And those with compassion-bearing, tender hearts; scattering kindness, sharing beauty & truth.
We can learn to sing a rainbow too...

I'm glad of my Special Senses. They are precious to me. A glorious gift.
They teach me that the world is a place to marvel.
Invite me in to life.